I Hate Jello (Legion of Thieves)
The Legion of Thieves I Hate Jello Xaro Leitz It started on one of those lazy Sunday afternoons. We had no current missions going on and everyone was off doing their own thing. Lissa and Ania had dragged Dawn to the mall for some girl time. Trystan and Liana were chasing Myriah around the Atrium. And Pratt was with Arthur in his library probably doing dangerous experiments. I could really care less, Max, Ben and I were in the Common Room on a Netflix binge. We had just finished with the fifth season of our now-favorite-series. Ben had gotten up to grab another round of drinks and Max was running for the bathroom. I sprawled out on the couch, cracking my now stiff neck. I had become one with the couch and it would take Heaven and Earth to move me. A few minutes later Max came back from the loo and we were waiting on Ben when... "Run for your lives!" Pratt screamed as he and Arthur crashed through the room. They vaulted over the couch causing me to roll onto the floor with a thud. I never realized Heaven and Earth came in the form of two teenage boys. "What, the of name Tartarus are you two doing!" I demanded, rising from the carpet (Gods we really need to do some vacuuming). They both looked scared: pale, sweaty faces, dilated pupils and they were trembling slightly. "What happened?" I asked, my anger beginning to recede. "Uhh Xaro." Max spoke, his voice wavering. I turned, expecting to see some kind of demonic-malformed-monstrosity, or (gods forbid) a pissed off daughter of Nyx . But what I saw confused me more than terrified me. It was a large, translucent red blob, slowly sliding it's way toward us. It took up the entire doorway and looked as if it stretched all the way down the hallway to the kitchen. "What in Hades is that thing!?" I demanded. Suddenly a faint scream arose from the kitchen. It was hard to make out since the mass took up the whole doorway, but it was definitely Ben. I lunged forward, my swords appearing in my hands. I lashed out at the mass, trying to carve my way toward the kitchen. But every time I slashed, the stuff would just reseal itself like I had never touched it. The mass surged forward, slamming into me. It felt slimy and sticky and when I inhaled I caught the distinct scent of cherries. "Is this thing Jello?" I demanded. I trying to face Arthur and Pratt but found that I couldn't move. I was being absorbed into the gelatinous creature. "Uhh guys, help!" I yelled as my legs were pulled into the Jello. Max rushed forward and grabbed my arms. He pulled with all his might and managed to pull me free. "Move!" I shouted. The four of us jumped up and ran. I heard the creature roar, the sound was like a combination of water boiling over and several whale calls. We sprinted down the hallway to my bedroom. I trust out my hand, causing the doors to fly open. Once we were all safely inside I waved my hand and every lock clicked shut. "That won't keep it out for long." Arthur said panting. I took a breath and pressed my hand on the door. A force field radiated outward covering each wall, the floor and the ceiling. Now nothing could get in or out. "Now," I said moving away from the door. "Explain!" Arthur held his hands up in surrender. "I was doing a simple ritual to create another golem when this one..." He said kicking at Pratt. "Dropped a bowl of cherry Jello into my circle disrupting the spell. After that the golem turned into Jello, became unstable, and tried to eat us. I tried everything to stop it, but when nothing worked..." "We ran," Pratt confessed. "And in my defense it was an accident!" I rubbed my forehead in concentration. "So let me get this straight. You two 'accidentally' created a giant Jello monster that is currently tearing through my HQ and trying to eat... oh dear gods Ben!" I had been so concerned about being eaten by that creature that I had completely forgotten about the son of Hemera. I called out to him with my mind, praying that he hadn't met a grizzly demise. Ben... Ben can you hear me!? Are you alright? Silence. I tried again and thankfully Ben responded. Xaro! Thank the gods! I'm alright, I managed to get out of the kitchen when that... thing attacked me! What in Tartarus is going on? I'll fill you in later. Where are you? I'm in the conference room. Alright we'll meet you there in a few minutes. "Okay Ben's safe... for now. We need to regroup and come up with a plan to beat that thing." I explained. "Yeah first thing's first Xaro." Max said pointing towards me. I looked down and realized my shoes, socks and jeans were missing. I felt my face flush. I thrust out my hand and a pair of sweat pants flew out of my closet. "Those were vintage Levis." I growled pulling on my sweats. "Okay one problem taken care of, now how do we get past the giant, man-eating mass of Jello?" Max asked. "Is it still out there?" Pratt asked. "Somebody should go out and check." No body volunteered. "Alright Max guard the door." I ordered. "Everybody stand back." I snapped my fingers and the force field protecting the room dissolved. I then raised my hands and fired a beam of darkness into the floor. The floor boards caught fire and stared crumbling to the floor below. Thirty seconds later there was a gaping hole in my bedroom floor. "Let's go!" Max shouted. I looked over and saw jello beginning to seep under the door. Max blasted it with a beam of light and the Jello sizzled but more of it kept coming. Pratt, Max and Arthur jumped through the floor. I watched as the locks on my door creaked and groaned then busted open. I fired a barrage of shadow balls at the mass of gelatin. As I jumped through the floor the shadow balls exploded, I figured that would by us a little time. I landed in the museum with the others and we took off running. We reached the meeting room and I pounded on the door. "Ben... Ben open up!" I shouted. I heard shuffling and something heavy being moved. Finally Ben threw the door open and we quickly slipped inside. I shut the doors and sealed the room again with a force field. "Okay is everyone alright?" I asked turning from the door. Everyone was panting and sweaty but otherwise unharmed. "Yeah, will somebody please tell me what's going on?" Ben begged. "Fill him in." I said pushing past Arthur. I made my way to the front of the room and switched on the security cameras. "Catt!" I shouted. "Lock down HQ. I want all hallways sealed and every door locked. Code XJLOmega20." "Does this have something to do with the giant mass of Gelatin tearing through the kitchen?" She asked. "Yep." I growled. "Okay just checking." She said. A second later every door slammed shut, each window was covered with a sheet of metal, the motion sensors activated, metal walls dropped from the ceilings and sealed off the hallways. I had taken several security measures just in case something had infiltrated the base. But I never thought we'd be attacked by a Giant-Cherry-Jello monster. "So what's the plan Xaro?" Max asked. "That's a good question Max... I don't have one!" I confessed. "Why do we need a plan?" Pratt questioned. "Why can't we just gang up on it and blast that to pieces." "Because, before I jumped through the hole in my bedroom I shot that thing full of shadow balls." I explained. Then motioned to the monitor. The monster was rampaging through the kitchen. It had absorbed all the food from the walk-in pantry and was currently tackling the fridge. "And it's totally unharmed. This thing has the ability to reform and/or regenerate itself so hacking or blasting it to pieces has a slim chance." "So what are we gonna do?" Ben asked. "Sit here until it eats all our food then comes after us?" "No 'effing way, I've got an '02 bottle of Montrachet sitting in that fridge and I ain't giving it up without a fight!" Max growled. "I hear you Max. I've got box of cannolis from Carlo's Bakery in that fridge. But I don't think that thing's smart enough to open the fridge." I assured him. "Yeah... Xaro." Arthur said pointing back to the screen. I looked back and saw the mass of gelatin rip the refrigerator door off the hinges and dive into the fridge. I clenched my fists and suppressed a string of cuss words from spilling out of my mouth. "Catt open the doors. I'm gonna turn that thing into pudding!" "Now that's what I'm talking about!" Max cheered, his spear growing to full size. "Hey what about us?" Pratt asked. "We left all our weapons upstairs." "Oh right." I walked over to the wall and made a series of knocks on the wood. Panels on the wall opened up revealing rows of swords, spears, knives, axes, guns, grenades and everything else I could hide under a panel in the wall. Everyone just stood there, starring at me. "What? You wanted weapons, I give you weapons." I joked. "Yeah but isn't this a little... excessive." Ben inquired. As he grabbed several large hunting knives and a Glock. "No, not really." I answered. Just then the conference table opened up and a modern Gatling gun rose from the floor, fully armed and ready to be fired. Everyone's jaws dropped, gesturing towards the large weapon where the conference table used to be. "What?" I asked trying not to laugh. "We'll deal with the demilitarization of HQ later." Max commented. "Right now we have a Jello monster destroy!" "Well there go missiles under the back porch." I thought to myself. Catt unlocked the doors and we charged up the hallway, through the museum, up the stairs and into the kitchen. The place had been ransacked, bits of food and packaging lay strewn across the floor. The door to the fridge lay against the wall, crumpled and nearly ripped in half. Almost everything was covered in a thin coat of sticky gelatin. I poked my head in the fridge and groaned. Everything was gone, Max's bottle of Wine, my cannolis, even the left over chicken riggies I was going to have for dinner. "It ate everything in the pantry." Arthur reported. I sighed. It'd take a whole day of grocery shopping to replace everything that the monster had eaten. I found a pen and pad of paper in a drawer and wrote, "Grocery List: Everything". ''I was now giving serious thought to building an underground bunker and stocking it with food. "So where did that freaking pile of slime go to now?" I demanded. "I can answer that." Catt spoke over the loudspeaker. "It's in the underground tunnel heading for the Atrium." It felt like someone had punched me in the gut. I sucked in breath of air and sprinted out of the kitchen and back down the halls, taking corners at break neck speeds. I leaped down the stairs, ignoring the pain shooting through my ankles. My only thought was getting to the Atrium before that thing could get at Trystan and Liana. I heard the guys yelling at me to wait but I had no intention of stopping until I saw my babies were safe. I turned into the dim tunnel and sprinted for the door to the Atrium. Halfway to the doors I spotted the monster. It seemed to have grown bigger and was moving faster than the last time I had seen it. I could see the remaining pieces of food and trash swirling inside its gelatinous body. I raised my hand and fired a beam of darkness at the creature. It reared up and made some incomprehensible sound. I noticed a new change to the monster. It was no longer a giant blob. Instead it seemed to shift and morph into different creatures. It took on the form of a giant, then a bull and finally a massive snake. This thing hadn't just gotten bigger... it had gotten smarter too! My swords appeared in a flash as the Jello monster struck. I leaped to the side and swung down, my swords loping off the creature's head. For a moment I thought I had killed it, severing the part of the monster doing the thinking. The head and body went limp and started to dissolve.Then it began to jiggle and the severed head rejoined the rest of the Jello. I braced myself for another strike. But this time the entire creature lunged completely covering me in Jello. The air was knocked from my lungs and I couldn't inhale with the layers of gelatin covering my face. I tried to swing my sword again but it was like trying to move through wet sand. I felt a burning sensation all over my body, as well as in my lungs. I knew I the burning in my lungs was me running out of air. The burning across my body was probably the thing trying to eat me alive. I had to do something fast. I was ''not going out as a snack for a giant, living piece of jiggly dessert. I concentrated and snapped my eyes open, unleashing a telekinetic blast that punched a hole in the creature. I took the opportunity to form a force field around my body and took a gulp of air before the creature resealed itself. I still couldn't move, but at least I wasn't being digested. I focused, extending my protective shell outward creating a path through the Jello. My head was spinning and my lungs were starting to burn again from the loss of oxygen. Finally I lunged forward breaking through my barrier and the Jello. I fell to the ground gasping for air. I tried to crawl forward but the monster grabbed my legs again and started to absorb me back into it's body. "Xaro heads up!" I heard before something blasted the creature. It released me just in time for someone to grab me and hoist me to my feet. I shook the stars from eyes and once my vision refocused I could see Arthur and Max launching attacks at the monster. They were pushing it back, deeper into the tunnel. But not all the attacks they launched made contact. The Jello would morph and move to avoid being hit... it was learning to dodge. "No, stop!" I wheezed. But they didn't hear me. They continued their assault until the monster was pushed to the door of the Atrium and slipped through. I cursed and pulled away from Ben and Pratt, who had been supporting me. That blob of Jello was not going to get my babies while I was still breathing. "Listen up!" I barked, causing everyone to straighten. "This monster won't go down easily and an all out assault my not be enough to defeat it. This is no longer a creature driven by a primal instinct to feed. Fight smart and try not to be devoured!" I shoved the doors open and was hit with the familiar sensation of walking into the Atrium. The hot, humid air blasted my skin, the smell of exotic flowers filled my nostrils, and the cries of my jaguars and Max's phoenix filled my ears. The five of us ran towards the commotion, ignoring the paved pathways and crashing through the plants. I could see them ahead, Trystan and Liana were hiding in the top of an oak tree while Myriah circled nearby.The monster was slithering up the tree towards them. I say slithering because it had morphed itself into a massive snake again. Max whistled for Myriah who quickly flew down to greet him. "Trystan! Liana!" I called. Liana looked up while Trystan continued to watch the creature. I raised my hands, grabbing both of them in a telekinetic grip. Quickly I lifted them out of the tree and maneuvered them over to me. Thankfully they had gotten used to me picking them up and moving them around like this. It really came in handy when Trystan needed a bath! The monster gave a particularly loud roar and fell out of the tree, crashing to the ground with a splat! It quickly reformed, this time into the shape of a giant octopus. It lashed out with its gelatin tentacles, trying to grab us. I raised my hands throwing up a protective barrier. The tentacles raked across the invisible surface attempting to break it down. "Kill it!" I roared. The guys jumped into action. Max and Ben fired twin beams of light, trying to incinerate the monster. Arthur shouted something, it sounded like Latin, and a massive safe appeared high above the monster and started falling. Prat hurled several grenades at the monster which were quickly absorbed into the creatures body. "Take cover!" Pratt shouted. Somebody swore and then everyone ducked behind my force field again. Arthur's safe fell on the monster at terminal velocity, causing Pratt's grenades to explode. The explosion nearly shattered my force field. It took all my concentration to keep us from being hit by fire and shrapnel . When the explosion died I dropped my force field and fell to my knees, my breathing labored. I looked at the damage around me. Several of the small plants and tress had caught fire, there was a small crater where the Jello monster had been, and small globs of gelatin were everywhere. At least the guys were okay, a little dazed but okay. "Really Pratt, grenades?" Arthur groaned. "Hey, go big or go home." Pratt replied. "Not if you blow up 'home'!" Max countered. Everyone laughed before getting to their feet. Liana nuzzled up to my leg as her way of saying "Thank you." Trystan put his front paws on my shoulders and licking my face, giving me a more affectionate thanks. We sheathed and holstered our weapons before heading back to the entrance. "Do you think we killed it?" Ben asked me as we neared the door. "Gods I hope so. But just as a precaution I'm gonna seal this area off and have Catt keep and extra eye on the place." I explained. "I know one thing," Pratt said loud enough for everyone to hear. "I'm never eating Jello again!" WIP (Maybe... idk)